Young Hearts Shouldn’t Hurt
You are reading our Mini-Blog, ‘Young Hearts Shouldn’t Hurt.’
Click here to read our extended article on Teen Dating Violence Awareness.
During adolescence, it’s normal for teens to start to explore dating, romance, and intimacy. In fact, according to the Society for Research in Child Development, Over 60% of teens go on dates prior to high-school graduation, more than half regularly go on dates, and one in three have a steady romantic partner through these years.
February is nationally recognized as Teen Dating Violence Awareness month. And just as adult relationships can range from being “healthy,” to “violent, or abusive,” so can relationships between two teens.
Figure Adapted from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
While teen dating violence is common, it’s rarely acknowledged or addressed. In fact, a staggering 81% of parents surveyed in the U.S. believed that teen dating violence isn’t an issue, or admitted they didn’t whether it was an issue or not. However, according to the most recent national estimates, up to 1 in 5 (19%) of teens face physical or sexual violence, approximately half (48%) will experience some form of harassment or stalking, and up to 65% report being emotionally, or psychologically, abused by a dating partner (see US Department of Justice’s Teen Dating Violence Literature Review 2022).
Why is dating violence, or abuse, common in teen relationships? Experts believe that even though it’s developmentally appropriate for teens to explore dating and intimacy, the inability to regulate their emotions well, effectively manage conflict, and cope with rejection and/or feelings of jealousy may contribute to dating violence.
Further, the growing use of the internet and social media platforms to communicate with one another may also facilitate cases of teen dating violence. As many as 75% of teens who date report experiencing cyber-abuse, or abuse that is technology-facilitated, from a partner.
Short- and Long-Term Consequences of Teen Dating Violence
Dating violence can have a substantial impact on a teenager, who is still undergoing significant psychological and physiological developments. After experiencing relationship violence or abuse as a teen, individuals are more likely to:
Exhibit poor mental health (e.g., anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress, low levels of self-esteem, shame/guilt).
Have difficulties controlling their anger and mood.
Engage in risk-taking behaviors (e.g., alcohol/drug use, having unprotected sex, getting in trouble, or suspended, for inappropriate or distracting behaviors).
Socially isolate themselves (e.g., stop engaging in social activities like sports, clubs, or other extracurriculars).
Bully their peers, or perpetrate further violence.
Long-term, teen dating violence is a robust predictor of future cases of domestic abuse in adulthood, especially for women between the ages of 18 and 24. In fact, the severity of adult domestic abuse has been directly linked to cases where a pattern of relationship abuse is established during adolescence.
Roots of Teen Dating Violence
Just like in adult domestic abuse cases, teen dating violence is often motivated by a perpetrators need to gain power and control over their partner.
Created by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, the Teen Power and Control wheel addresses the issues of teen dating violence/abuse that are specific to teenage relationships. It points to peer-pressure, anger/emotional abuse, using social status, intimidation, minimizing/denying/blaming, threats, sexual coercion, and isolation/exclusion as the main categories from which violence emerges.
Adolescence is typically the developmental timeframe when we begin to see violent behaviors emerge in at-risk individuals.
To help understand why some teens may be susceptible to displaying violence, experts have linked high levels of childhood adversity, such as witnessing domestic abuse between parents, or directly experiencing abuse and/or neglect themselves. with teen violence
These adversities may increase the likelihood of violence because the child learns at an early to normalize abusive behaviors. Combined with the the fact that childhood adversity can directly impact the way our brains respond to stress. Early life stress can facilitate poor emotional regulation, increased levels of aggression, and general emotional distress through adulthood, directly impacting how we navigate relationships.
Teenagers are also just beginning to learn how to navigate romantic relationships, which have the potential to become complex very quickly - no matter what age you are. Some teens may believe that certain behaviors, like teasing, or name-calling, are "normal" in a romantic relationships. However, these unhealthy dynamics can be warning signs for subsequent relationship violence, which often becomes more severe over time.
Prevention, Prior to Adulthood
Research on new approaches to preventing dating violence suggests that supporting teenagers during their development of healthy, nonviolent, romantic relationships is critical to reducing abuse within teen couples, as well as between friends.
By gaining the skills needed to identify the early warning signs of abuse, manage and regulate their emotions, and communicate with others respectfully and effectively, teens are more likely to create and maintain healthy relationships throughout their life.
And while fostering these skills in high-schoolers has been critical for preventing teen dating violence, research also suggests increasing these skills can help prevent future cases of domestic abuse later in life, too.
Young Hearts: KCWS’s Approach to Preventing Teen Dating Violence
Young Hearts was originally established by KCWS in 2021 as a teen dating violence prevention program, aiming to support high school students as they explore healthy relationship concepts through evidence-based prevention models.
Our Young Hearts student members, overseen by KCWS staff, engage in independent research on teen dating violence topics, spend time critically thinking about these issues and and discussing them during weekly meetings, and offer peer-to peer education and awareness on healthy relationship concepts. Since Young Hearts was founded, KCWS has seen a significant growth in student participation (a 30% increase in student membership from the ’23-‘24 school year), as well as in our community impact.
“You don’t ever really think about teen dating violence happening in a community like this. And we get to go into the schools [to raise awareness]. Seeing the effect that it had on some of the kids, and how they would come up to us after and be like, ‘Wow. I really needed that. It was something that I thought was really special.”
The Young Hearts program was established to create a safe, engaging environment for high-school students to talk about dating violence, and continue fostering communities where relationships are handled with awareness, respect and compassion. By offering our students the space and resources needed to become advocates for healthy relationships, our hope is that teen dating violence, and adult domestic abuse, are prevented, rather than addressed.
Young Hearts
Your Resources:
Learn More About Young Hearts:
www.kcwstexas.org/young-hearts
Follow Young Hearts on Instagram! @younghearts_kcws
For Parents:
A Parent’s Guide to Teen Dating Violence
How to Talk to Teens About Dating Violence
Research on Teen Dating Violence (Blog Sources):
About Teen Dating Violence (CDC, 2025)
US Department of Justice’s Teen Dating Violence Literature Review (U.S. DOJ 2022)
Traumatic events and adolescent psychopathology in a United States national probability sample (Vacek & Whisman, 2021)
Other Teen Dating Violence Support Resources:
About the Author
Prior to her service at KCWS as the Research & Education Coordinator, Sarah received a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Colorado Boulder and a Master of Science degree in Research Psychology from the University of Texas at San Antonio. Having dedicated the past six years to researching factors related to posttraumatic stress, Sarah has collaborated with domestic abuse, foster care, and military support agencies. She is passionate about enhancing trauma-informed policies and practices, and is on track to obtain her PhD, Summer 2025.
Email: sarah@kcwstexas.org
KCWS Phone: 830.428.4930