Hidden Battles
“My husband was a combat instructor with the Marine Corps. We were married 10 years. There were all types of abuse... When we moved near a base, that’s when the physical violence started... I called the civilian police, but pretty much every single sheriff was a prior Marine. They told my husband, ‘You don’t want us to have to contact your supervisor, just go cool off.’ I made a restricted report with the Family Advocacy Program — I wanted help, but I didn’t want to ruin his career... There was no way we would have been able to afford him getting kicked out of the military. We had a daughter, and a year later, he ended up in involuntary psychiatric treatment for a mental health issue that preexisted his enlistment. We were doing the meds roller coaster. I really thought he would try to get better, but he didn’t.”
Katie's struggle to find support from military-family assistance programs after enduring the abuse perpetrated by her husband is, unfortunately, not rare.
In 2000, the National Defense Authorization Act, serving as the first federal mandate for data collection on domestic abuse incidents reported to military officials, established a formal domestic violence task force within the Department of Defense (DoD). The DoD Domestic Violence Task Force, comprised of 24 military personnel and civilians expert in the area of domestic abuse, met regularly to make a plan to address the domestic abuse issue in military service families.
The task force presented its important findings on patterns of domestic abuse in military families to the House Armed Services Committee over a year later, in September, 2001.
The beginning of the War on Terror during that time made domestic abuse prevention a low priority for the U.S. Armed Forces, limiting future progress. In fact, rates of domestic abuse have remained consistently higher than those reported by civilians since then. And the number of military member reports meeting criteria for domestic abuse hasn’t declined, either.
Currently, studies have shown that as many as 47% of active-duty male service members report perpetrating abusive behaviors towards their intimate partners.
Despite programs offering domestic abuse services for military members and their families, the number of abuse incidents in military families has not significantly decreased in the past decade.
“In the 23 years I’ve been doing this, I can think of maybe two or three domestic violence cases that went to trial.”
Kendall County Women’s Shelter is located just outside of San Antonio, Texas, commonly referred to as "Military City, U.S.A.," due to its relatively large population of service members. Just last year, KCWS served 17 veteran clients, and we understand the unique circumstances that military families often face. And more importantly, how these have the potential to create additional barriers to those seeking a life free from abuse.
Reality Check: When military service families sacrifice so much for our freedom, as advocates, we should prioritize understanding how military social dynamics may impact awareness of, or access, to support. By doing so, we can further ensure the freedoms of domestic abuse survivors.
According to the latest DoD report on domestic abuse incidents, over 15,000 reports of abuse were reported to the DoD's Family Advocacy Program (FAP) in 2022. Of these, more than half met DoD criteria. Overall, the number of veterans who have admitted to abusing their partners has ranges from 15% to 60%, depending on the study.
While these numbers are concerning, they are most likely an underrepresentation of the scope of domestic violence, given an unwillingness to report by many survivors, often due to factors like financial restrictions or love for their partner.
“DOD (Department of Defense) is unable to assess the scope of alleged abuse and its rate of substantiation.”
Why Does Domestic Abuse Seem to Disproportionately Impact Military Families?
Experts have suggested that the occupational nature of serving in the military often requires members to adopt perspectives and behaviors that are adaptive for deployment, however, can be maladaptive to civilian life.
For example, characteristics such as hypervigilance, aggression, emotional suppression, and risk-taking actions are survival mechanisms that are encouraged in combat environments. However, in civilian contexts, if one were to report engaging in these specific behaviors or having these feelings, they may end up receiving a posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) diagnosis. In fact, these are all listed symptoms for PTSD in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).
Research has found that over 60% of veterans believe that their relationships with family members significantly changed after having been deployed. What does this mean for family dynamics?
“[T]here are other behavioral factors that are adaptive in the context of a military combat deployment and general military environment but that are maladaptive or inappropriate in civilian and family life.”
Exposure to combat environments when deployed significantly increases the chance that violence within the home will occur. Reintegration efforts can be especially difficult for those who engaged in combat while deployed.
Apart from PTSD symptoms, researchers have identified additional factors that increase the likelihood of domestic abuse occurring within military families.
Substance abuse issues, a history of traumatic brain injury, and little, or low-quality, social support have all been linked to cases of domestic abuse within military families following deployments.
Age or professional experience also seems to play a role in predicting domestic abuse, as 88% of domestic abuse cases were reported by junior enlisted members (E1 through E6 pay grades).
It is important to note that while men continue to make up over 80% of military service members, female service members report far greater rates of military-related sexual trauma (MST). In fact, 1 in 3 female members report surviving MST when meeting with their VA medical provider.
What Are We Doing Now to Battle Domestic Abuse for Military Families?
Since the federal mandate of the National Defense Authorization Act, the DOD’s Family Advocacy Program (FAP) offers “restricted” or confidential reporting, meaning survivors can alert either a health care provider or domestic abuse advocate about the violence, but neither law enforcement nor command will be notified of the case. Survivors may then receive counseling and other support services to help break the cycle of abuse.
The Strength at Home program has also been implemented within more than 150 VA hospitals, which aims to improve relationships and prevent intimate partner violence (IPV) within military families.
Additionally, the U.S. Air Force announced in October of 2023 that it would hire more victim advocates and increase domestic violence education opportunities for active-duty airmen - although time is needed to evaluate the effectiveness of these programs.
In April of this year, the U.S. Army (the largest U.S. military branch), announced that it will no longer allow military commanders to decide on their own whether soldiers accused of certain serious crimes can leave the service rather than go on trial.
This policy implementation came a year after ProPublica, The Texas Tribune, and Military Times published an investigation exposing Army commanders with discharging hundreds of soldiers with violent crime histories, verses having them face a court martial.
If these policies aim to mitigate domestic abuse amongst military families, why aren’t rates of abuse decreasing?
At KCWS, we recognize that the role of an advocate is to listen to and understand the range of concerns and needs our clients are facing and offer them the best resources or information to meet their needs or goals. To do this, we should also critically evaluate ways we can improve existing systems to better serve survivors.
“[Commanders] are not psychologists, they’re not doctors. They are wonderful at what they do, but this isn’t really their field… Their interpretation of an event when they know someone personally might be very different than me sitting behind a desk facing a stranger who’s been abused.”
Many military families will not report abuse because of the financial impact that being discharged from service would have on their lives. This is also often the case when the survivor is a civilian, because their partner may be their only source of income and/or medical benefits.
“I have young kids and no job. If I report, my spouse will be discharged and we’ll have nothing.”
Another important barrier that survivors in military relationships often face is that while civilian protective orders apply both on- and off-military bases, protective orders offered by military police agencies are only enforceable on base. This can create a daunting situation for protecting survivors and holding abusers accountable.
When safety-planning with survivors within military-serving families, agency staff should keep in mind that a civilian protective order is the strongest defense.
What Can Agencies Do to Help?
Domestic abuse agencies should work to better understand the specific barriers faced by military families. We encourage agencies to consult with local military-serving institutions to identify voids in domestic abuse services. Additionally, military serving agencies can help you better understand the perspectives and needs of active-duty and veteran clients, which could add valuable insight into your programming approach for supporting survivors of domestic abuse with military backgrounds.
“When civilian advocates don’t understand the military, it just strengthens the power and control that makes it so hard for victims to get help. In my case, a knowledgeable advocate, working in partnership with a military advocate would have made all the difference.”
By creating coordinated community response teams, agencies can more efficiently cross-train staff to be prepared to respond to military family crises. By ensuring service members are represented in your local domestic violence task force or council, creating memorandum of understandings (MOUs) between military and non-military support agencies, and investing in evidence-based psychoeducation that is relevant to the experiences military families face, we can have a more positive impact on military family health.
“Our ability to end domestic violence depends, above all, on building a coordinated community response to the needs of every survivor… civilian advocates can build the strong, informed partnerships that are essential to ending domestic violence on military families. I urge you to do so.”
When military families sacrifice so much for our daily safety, it is our responsibility as agencies, and as individual advocates, to do the best we can to address domestic abuse, identify its origins, and prevent future cases, allowing military families to thrive during and after service.
If you are a U.S. military member, or the spouse/partner of a member, and believe you are experiencing domestic abuse, Call KCWS to create a safety-plan with us today.
KCWS 24/7 Hotline: 800-495-8078
About the Author
Prior to her service at KCWS as the Research & Education Coordinator, Sarah received a bachelor’s degree from the University of Colorado Boulder and a master’s degree in Psychology from the University of Texas at San Antonio. Having dedicated the past six years to researching factors related to posttraumatic stress, Sarah has collaborated with domestic abuse, foster care, and military support agencies. She is passionate about enhancing trauma-informed policies and practices, and is on track to obtain her PhD, Spring 2025.
Email: sarah@kcwstexas.org
KCWS Phone: 830.428.4930
References/Additional Resources:
Military Funded Programs/Information:
2023 Report to the Committees on Armed Services of the Senate and the House of Representatives
American Bar Association Information on Domestic Violence
Army Resilience - Domestic Abuse Facts
More Information:
U.S. Medicine - IPV More Common in Military Members
Understanding Military Responses to Domestic Abuse
Women'sLaw.Org - Military Domestic Abuse
How Military Culture Can Heighten Domestic Violence Risk